Dear students,
Though i know only we teachers who frequent this site as this is more on our reflection while teaching you all as there have been ups and downs experienced by us en route to either success or failure.Should failure is the end result, it does not matter so long we teachers have given our all. But, so far i think i am far from giving my all as i think i am too much at times that sent some of you dear students depressed.
Being a teacher by coincidence is a flaw in itself unless those whose heart and soul is on being a teacher.I am of different sort as i force myself to love this through some readings and a few unforgettable incidents encountered during my on and off being a temporary teachers at a few schools in Terengganu.
If i were to state the soundest reasons of all i would say that i love to see them understand what i have taught be their signs of relief or a simple thank you sir. At times when i stepped out the class, i would ask myself what did i share with them on that particular period.And then, if i could hardly find the answer it was a sheer failure on that particular day. I think i have so far experienced more failures than success. Failure seems dominating the game. Never the less, it does not frustrate me as I learn a lot more from failure than success.
My mind never ceases to rationalise of me being a teacher. Besides so called modest salary the other factor gets me hooked in this teaching profession is my self doubt. People by nature love doing things they are used to. The same theory might have applied to me as i did teach at various schools temporarily and almost at each school there were some unforgettable memories engraved be they bitter or sweet that i could hardly delete from my temporary hard disk borrowed by the Almighty God. And He can snap it anytime at will without even giving prior notification. And it seems teaching is can do job compared to other untested professions.
Ironically, i more often than not don't do what i preach. Thus, i am not fit enough to be a teacher as this will affect my in charge in the long run.I used to champion the ethics during the exam in class but sometimes, it feels like i want to ask weak students to cheat during exam as this will help bring good image to school and their teachers as well who happened to be me. What a malaise of mind! . I have had put my teaching colleagues in deep trouble for no sound reason but my own hatred and self made enmity to others that i suspected them of being a hypocrite. I know that in no way should i harbour ill-feelings and hatred.
After all, it is my self doubt to take bold steps to traverse in uncharted lands that hold me back in the profession meant for noble men unlike me. By the way, it is matter of reflection as unexamined life is not worth living.
Sir
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Your post in some ways has forced my mind into thinking what makes me hooked up with this profession.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, my first intention of joining the bandwagon of TESLian was not right in the first place. I accepted the offer because I want to study abroad, which was a dream since I was a kid at a primary school. After few years studying education, I develop the love for educating gradually which I attributed to my dear lecturers' succesful attempts at brainwashing the minds of the younger us back then.
2 years overseas, by Allah's will, I think i began to understand the religion more than I did before and thus the understanding convinces me why I should teach. But I'm still learning...
To qoute someone, 'knowledge sought for the sake of knowhledge itself results in verbalism' (speech without action)We must transform words into actions as the purpose of our creation is to worship God which requires us moving our physical being. That's what a teacher does; to materialise certain aspirations and visions. A teacher is a reformer through his actions not words (unlike certain politicians) and that's what I want to be though I know I still talk more than walking my talk.
Thus, this explains my long blog-hiatus. I feel guilty of writing while what I did so far is much less...
May Allah guide us to a straight path and help us in our struggle to achieve His pleasure